2020 is not just a NEW YEAR but the gateway to a NEW DECADE as well! WOW! Where has time gone? Where was I ten years ago and where am I going now? I have definitely grown wiser over the years and the best thing is; I have come much closer with my Jesus; and have become intentional with my relationship with Him from this past year. So where am I heading this new year? this new decade?
LOOKING BACK
The past decade was life changing for me as I became a mother for the first time. I can say that it is my greatest accomplishment. I lived abroad on my own for over seven years away from family and there was not a day I felt home sick but as soon as I moved here in California (from England), I have felt a terrible home sickness for weeks. I had a hard time adjusting to the fast-phased way of life and work in America.
Our son came at a perfect time, I lost my dad that same year our Little Man was born and we are very thankful that as a door closed a window was left wide open. I also had to make a decision about my career and family life. It felt like so many things happening all at the same time, it felt suffocating.
When I left England (and my single life), I was just about getting into a rhythm on my spiritual growth. I have found Hillsong London as my refuge into revival. It was not an easy road back, then I made my move to California and my growth was suddenly put on a halt. I felt lost and thirsty for more of Jesus. Moving from one city to another and trying to fit in a new family and a totally different community was both challenging. As this decade came to a close, I can say that I have found a new community of believers that I feel I am going to grow more everyday in my Jesus journey and be more like Him through the continuous study of God's word and a fruitful prayer life.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11
I have learned to be a big girl, to be more independent, to grow up as a Jesus follower and as a matured adult. Living far from home and working abroad is not something Filipino children are born into. We were raised to stay with our parents for as long as we like, move away only when we get married (sometimes, others even stay after that).
Yes, when I went to college and lived away from my parents but still get to go home every weekend. Yes, when I started working in Manila and I chose to stay at the hospital dorm most of the week, but still get to see Mom and Dad every day off possible. So, moving and living abroad totally independent from my parents, was really hard and challenging but sort of a fun thing to do at the same time. As a single woman in the prime of my life (20's) I made it a point to make the most of everything- that is, living in Europe, travelling, climbing up the career ladder, hoping for serious relationships and evolving to make a name for myself. (Now, I am sounding a bit too self-centered here! but that was me that time...)
Through those, I have learned to live independently, decide for myself and walk this world with a free reign. I have no regrets living the life as I have explored as much as I can. I have met people and created lifelong friendships along the way. I have been through tough times too that have made me stronger through the process. I have wandered, tripped over and stumbled many times but God was always there offering a hand to help me get up...every time.
"Call to me and I will answer you, rand will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known." -Jeremiah 33:3
Through every valleys and mountains of my young life, I have always gone back to my Father like a prodigal son with humility and a repenting heart. My Jesus has never failed me but how many times have I, in my self-centeredness, failed Him with the way I lived my life? I'd say many times...but thankfully my God is gracious and merciful.
2019 was different, but good different for me. I have struggled for a bit, but through it all I have found my way to a better relationship with my Father. The past two years has helped me to look back and think about my walk with Jesus, am I still walking with Him or have I stopped too many times to linger and look back or go my own way and get lost? I can say that I am now in a much better path, back walking with my Savior, savoring every step of the way and enjoying His company, teaching me things on every turn. It is a much happier and at the same time more challenging journey with Jesus... but my focus now is to keep stride with Him and live each day trying to look more like Him.
"Is there anything you have learned this year about the Bible and Jesus that you didn’t know about before? - by Annie F. Downs ["That Sounds Fun" Podcast]
Reading is a big part of my life and in 2019 I have dedicated and intentionally put more time on reading God's word and books to help me grow in my Jesus journey. My favorite reads this past year that made me grow closer to Jesus were: "Sick of Me" by Whitney Capps where I really learned more about sanctification; Max Lucado's "Before Amen" gave me a better framework in praying and a new look at "The Lord's Prayer". I also enjoyed the book and bible study by Lysa Terkeurst called "It's Not Supposed To Be This Way", touched my heart, my life and help me be stronger in whatever may come in my life. The GHCC Women's Bible Study on Hebrews also taught me more about my Savior Jesus Christ, that He is greater than Moses and the angels. He is our Great High Priest, a Better Sacrifice, the Son of God who is seated at the right hand of God..... Indeed Jesus is better and Jesus is over everything. These are some of the basics that I thought I knew about Jesus and the Bible beforehand, but obviously they were not. I am glad that now I know my Jesus better. I remember Annie F Downs always asking her guests of "something you learned about the Bible and Jesus that you didn't know before?" and you know my answer now.
LOOKING FORWARD
Another ten years? I will be entering the zone of hot flushes and "mid-life crisis" by then (LOL!). Joking aside, I am praying and praying hard for God's plan for my life and my family. So many ideas and plans crossing our minds now as a family. A bleak picture of a future but I am praying that God will reveal something to us this year.
I just recently read "The God Dare"by Kate Battistelli and it seems like I have to pray for my God dare to come clearly to me. I am not even sure where this can take us but I am hoping beyond hope that I can answer His dare with a "Yes Lord, use me!" because I know that if He calls or dares me, He will get me all suited up and well-equipped for the dare!
As Jeremiah 33:3 says, "Call unto me..", ask God the hard questions and trust His answers for He "can show you great and hidden things". On Annie F Down's devotional called "100 Days to Brave" she said that "sometimes we avoid asking God the hard things because we fear what the answer will be." This is so true, even for me. I am afraid to ask GOD what His plans are for me because I am not sure I can do what He is asking, what He is asking or daring me to do for His glory. Let us be brave. Trust God for He knows what is better for us, always.
PLANS FOR 2020
Feeling so blessed in this season of my life, I feel at my best in my Jesus journey at present....I am still thirsty for more of GOD's word, tremendously enjoying the fellowship of other faithful women meeting together regularly in order to spur each other.
This 2020 I would love to share more with you here in my blog. To explore more ideas and topics where we can learn and share more about Jesus. I am treating my BLOG as a Ministry to serve and minister to others growing in Jesus like me rather than a post to please my readers. I have also asked a few people to contribute to the blog, feature more ministries to support, pray for or even be a part of and to hopefully inspire us to get into a ministry ourselves.
A good friend from my youth days have this family mission in Southern Philippines and we have spoken in brief to feature their mission in Mindanao. I am looking forward to be able to share and write about this mission and ministry. I have also asked a great favor from a few pastors whom I personally know to pitch in.
I hope that you will keep following and reading my blogs and my prayer is that you will also grow in this journey with Jesus..that together we can all look more like Jesus everyday.
PRAYER is my main focus this year, it will be a vital part of my blogging and I am praying that God will use me to inspire you all to
PRAY MORE ....
PRAY MORE FOR .... and
PRAY MORE WITH .... this year!
Be BLESSED!
#BeforeAmen #MySundayThoughts #100DaysToBrave #TheGODDare #Prayer2020 #SickofMebook #ItsNotsupposedToBeThisWay #NewYearNewDecade
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